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Thursday, February 26, 2004

and here i go again... 

okay, so you remember that old entry i had? where everyone was in love, but me? well, it's definitely not like that anymore. wait...let me rewind a little bit. so the whole "not being in love" thing went on for awhile. way longer than usual. and i knew that when i did get that feeling, that person would be amazing and totally worth it. so it didn't bother me. i just felt comfortable. not always trying to impress somebody. not wondering what he was doing. you know, not stressing about boys for once.

but then a few weeks ago, i started to have those feelings again. see, there was this boy from last year that i was "in love" with. and even though i haven't seen him in a year, all those emotions i felt when i was around him came back. and the fact that he wasn't here killed me. and all my regrets that i didnt go for it also returned. and it hurt sooo much. i honestly believed that he was perfect for me. in every way. but nothing ever happened. and yet, i still think i love him...

so now, let me get to the point. i'm in love again. noo not him ^^. well, it will always be him, but now there's someone else. it's not the intense love i had before where it hurt. it's the fresh, bubbly, disgustingly happy kinda love!! and i must say, i love this feeling!! lol. but the stupid thing is that i know nothing more than his name and a little of the kind of person he is. he's the kinda guy your parents would want you to date;polite,well mannered,has a job,and of course, cute.hehe. i don't even know how old he is actually!! i just know that he goes to my school, lives by me, and has a brother who's my age. and already, i've fallen for him. hard.

and yes, i'm being irrational. i fall in love too easily. i'm young. i still don't know what love is. blah blah blah. i've been through this before. . but i also know that i don't wanna think about him in the future and start to cry. i dont wanna add another "wish i would have done something" to my already extensive list. i don't want to wonder if i would've had a chance. the only thing stopping me from actually doing something is myself. and i don't want that anymore.

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